Another Day in Paradise

My son is learning his ABCs. So at least once a day we are treated to his rendition of this song. It's a little like watching other countries' versions of American Idol. You know where the contestants make up their own lyrics because their grasp of English isn't very good(kinda like mine)? Yep. It's like that but actually cute (And there is no Foreign version of Paula Abdul to generate hostility in me). He does pretty well at it until roughly around H. From H it becomes H-R-Tay-Tay-L-M-N-O-P etc.. Also, 'S' sounds suspiciously like 'x'. It's so endearing that the wife and I don't want to correct him. I figure he'll know everything and hate us soon enough, but for now, he can keep being my little boy.

My daughter is in a rush to grow up as well. Yesterday I watched her pull herself up into a stand, teeter, try a step and then plop down on her butt. She did this at least a dozen times. That's perserverance. She then got so frustrated that she threw a fit but the actions leading up to it were pretty impressive. She's definitely got heart. It probably didn't help that I would leg sweep her everytime she got more then one step but I'm breeding Spartans.....Ok, ok, that's not a true story and my wife would leg sweep me if I did that but it sounded hard. In reality, my daughter has me wrapped around her little finger. That little smile of hers melts my heart. Yeah, I'm pretty much screwed when she gets older.

On a different, much more manly note, my coach just called me and said that he has ringworm. Wonderful. On Monday, we grappled for conditioning (Which my wife says is just an excuse for us express our repressed homosexual urges but I don't agree because there is not a lot of kissin....er....doh!). Nothing is itching so maybe I avoided it. Just one more thing to worry about. Gotta love it.

Easy Like Sunday Morning (I wonder how many blogs are titled that?)

Yesterday, I got nice and toasty and wrote a blog. I thought it was a rather entertaining one (probably because I was drunk and I always think I'm uber witty whilst plowed). Unfortunately, in my altered state I accidentally deleted it. I'm not sure how I did this but it was just a few magical keystrokes and *poof* it was gone. It was rather upsetting and it drove me to drink...er....more. So now, I hit the save button every few minutes because I wouldn't want the world to be deprived of more nonsense.

So far, today has been a good day (Didn't even have to use my Ak...). Sunday is my day to sleep in and it was awesome. The extra sleep makes it all worth it and helps keep me from going postal (All work and no play makes James a dull boy). When I woke up, the wife and the boy went to the grocery store and my daughter took a nap. I had some time to myself which is always nice so I wrote while listening to music and all was right in the world. Well, not much to report and not feeling particularly witty today so I will end it here.

Weekend

Haven't posted in a few days. Been a tad bit busy. Learned a valueable lesson this week: If you use ADD meds, don't take them on the day you are going to go do a two hour butt kicking boxing workout. Yeah, I felt like my heart was going to explode. Oh well. Tomorrow I'm going to add Kenneth Jay's Viking Warrior Conditioning to my boxing routine. I'm hopeful that this will get me ready. Not alot to add. It's probably a good thing that I only have one follower because this is pretty lame.

Sick little animals

Today D, my daughter, woke up screaming at 4:15am. She was then inconsolable. I thought it might be the realization of who her father was but alas, no she's legitimately sick with a temperature of 101 and a nasty little cough. So I am staying home from work today. Why couldn't she have gotten sick on a Monday or a Friday? Kind of inconsiderate of her. Oh well. I'll remember this when she needs braces or some organ, which in turn, will screw me when it's time to select an old folks home. I'm sure she'll choose the one from Happy Gilmore.

Of course after dosing her with some infant pain meds, she's running around engaging in various shenanigans. She took my day planner apart and then looked up and grinned at me. A gigantic toothless grin that melted my heart. Now I have no idea what I'm doing for the next two months, but damn it was a beautiful smile. She has me completely wrapped around her finger. I am so screwed.

On a different note, I got in the ring yesterday for the first time in about three months. It was ugly. I got worked and to top it all off, I got freaked out by the head gear. I've only sparred before in the open faced head gear. This one has a bar across the front. That's great for protecting your face (I'm so pretty) but I felt like I was suffocating. The second round I literally felt like ripping off my head gear and running out of the ring. I stayed by sheer force of will (that and the fear of the ribbing that would be forthcoming) but switched head gear for the last round. I didn't know I was claustrophobic. I was good after that. Well, as good as you can be getting punched in the face by a professional boxer.

Today, I am a mass of soreness. My shoulders are killing me. My face and solar plexus feel thoroughly tenderized (There's a joke in there somewhere). That's what I get for slacking. I was going to lift today, but I think I will let my body recover since I have to do it all over again tomorrow. That's the smart thing to do, so more then likely I'll go lift an hour or so. I'm kinda dumb like that.

Requiem for my brain cells

Yesterday was my kids' joint birthday party. It, of course, was a gigantic cluster. We had close to 30 people in our house at one time. Hilarity ensued. My kids got more presents then they could ever possibly play with. Hell, they have more presents then twenty kids could possibly play with. If my son didn't have ADD before, he does now. He's like a hummingbird flitting between flowers in rapid succession. But instead of collecting nectar, he's narrating various scenes of what the characters are doing, having multiple coversations before moving on to the next toy. He's having a great time or he's having a psychotic break. Tough to say at this point.

On the bright side, before the party, we still had some open spaces on the carpet that had not been covered by some kind of toy. Now I can literally walk from one end of my house to the other and never have to worry about touching carpet. A trip to the kitchen sounds like a montage of Disney movies as the toys activate and spew their vitrolic catch phrases. If I have to hear Lightning McQueen (From Disney's Cars) say "I am speed" one more time, I may have a psychotic break of my own....But I digress

In an effort to keep my sanity yesterday, I got Lindsay Lohan drunk.


This has become a birthday tradition with Daddy stumbling around making an ass out of himself (I think I'm quite charming drunk, everyone else, not so much), while various family members take pictures (See? Lindsay Lohan drunk). Yeah, my kids will end up on a psychiatrist's couch someday talking about how Daddy punched out the clown or peed off the deck (Stay Classy). In my defense, I try and keep the Old Testament drinking to once in a blue moon. Also, my wife and damn near every living relative we have were there. It's not like I took them shooting or something ("Here son, hold my beer and watch this..") Don't you judge me!